Forget averages, what is the median cost of a wedding?

Wait, does this mean that the state will no longer have any authority over divorces and certain estate issues?

I hear you. Been there.

No, I meant that I'd seen your posts before, that you'd mentioned you had negative experiences with therapy. I can totally see what you mean about groupthink (and I don't think of thesaladbowl as being the kind of place where people post too often about personal difficulties).

Okay, I don't know what's in those videos, but they sound like SHIT. There are no such mistakes. Getting closer to someone means EXPOSING yourself. The other person CAN'T accept you if they don't know who you are and what you're about. My husband and I broke every single "rule". We met on the casual encounters…

You've mentioned that before. It would depend on what kind of an issue you're dealing with? Also, a lot of people use groupthink for that purpose/

It might be helpful to ask yourself what it is you really want to know. Maybe try writing down all the possible answers to the question of "why" and thinking about what it would mean to you if each answer was THE answer. I bet you'll find that you're after emotionally is about you and not about him. Which would be…

That's totally normal. It would be great, in a way, if we really WERE responsible for everything that happened because then we could control it. In general, we can look at decisions points and say we judged poorly (for a variety of understandable reasons), but admitting a mistake is different than taking blame. I'm…

Aw, you're so sweet. My dad probably helped me out by moving to California in '78 and declining to acknowledge my existence thereafter.

You know. Hard to say if would have been worse to have John Lennon as a father or my actual one. I'm going to go with my actual one. (At least I'd be rich?)

And the worst part is, we have a hard time believing it when they make it absolutely clear that it's their flaw. "No, but really why?" We're not going to easily accept what we believe to be true. (Lots of therapy to get me to that place of understanding.)

That's how they get away with it! Until we're experienced and prepared to react quickly to red flags, we assume there's a good reason or something we can't see because WE would never treat someone like that. Anyway, it's almost like a right of passage, dating someone like that. And then you look back and go... what…

Sure, but it's generally best practice to combine them for optimal results.

And that's an impossible question (says the person who used to obsess on it). We have to concentrate on being half of a great couple, regardless of what else happens, and that IS something therapy can help with.

Good point. My mom said she was not impressed the first time she met him because he had two cameras around his neck and a big floppy black hat. Now he donates to Republicans.

Gotcha. Best of luck to you. I hope you find/found the right combination of help for your particular needs.

You deserve someone who will make it absolutely clear to you that he treasures you.

I think that gets into getting to a place where we can accept that we're never going to get what we need from the person/situation, even if all we need is know why.

I'm surprised that you're being prescribed drugs in the absence of talk therapy.

And online support groups! Sometimes all a person needs to get their head organized is to talk it out with people who can truly empathize/sympathize.