Also how did this entire article fail to mention Seinfeld even once?

Can you really put a price on the experience of allowing someone to unnecessarily succumb to hypothermia and drown, though?

I’ll be damned. Had no idea Seinfeld’s J Peterman catalog was based on this J Peterman catalog.

A bad decision was made by the leader of the J. Peterman company in 1996? We all know who was to blame:

That’s a good point that had never occurred to me until now. Vader has always been a sassy thug with a corny sense of humor (“Don’t act so surprised, your highness...”) and that just doesn’t show up in the prequels.

The Force Awakens was The Force Awakens meets Star Wars.

Also, the Jedi were full of shit about their abilities, which could help with the “they’re fakes” narrative:

That sort of thing is actually pretty common in sci-fi. Remember on Lost when Alex (Rousseau’s daughter who was raised by Ben) had a rebellious teenage phase defined by her desire to escape from the island and be like a “normal” teenager? Except she’d spent her whole life on the island without modern media, so there…

I have the biggest power, Ben Solo!

It would explain better how about 18 years later people didn’t even really believe in the Jedi or the Force, despite them having had a giant temple next to the seat of galactic government. “Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerer’s ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion . . . yes, ancient…

Was there gambling in Mos Eisley? Now I must rewatch yet an umpteenth+1 time.

The Jedi certainly would’ve worked better conceptually as a loosely-knit group of wandering warrior-monks, rather than as a government-sponsored cult that negotiates tax policy.

I agree that the Jedi sucked in the prequels.

I’m going to write a new screenplay that’s like a cross between The Goonies and Stranger Things....

Yeah, the prequels came out when I was 12-18, so adding the whole celibacy angle to the jedi order was just insult to injury as their coolness lessened as I approached my teen years. Notice how Obi Wan decided to omit that part of Luke’s training, hopefully creating a new school of thought that would curtail the…

I feel like the Jedi work way better as a film concept when there’s only a few of them around and they’re doing interesting things instead of whatever the fuck they were doing in the prequel trilogy. As a kid, I imagined the Jedi order as this awesome fraternity (probably the wrong word since I figured there were…

What gets cut open and crawled inside this time?

I haven’t seen Looper since it came out, but I still think about it all the time.

Wasn’t expecting this to earn anywhere near a B+ from Dowd, but I couldn’t be more pleased. Rian Johnson’s past projects have been underrated (particularly The Brother’s Bloom). Great sign for the rest of his tenure in a galaxy far, far away...

“Casablanca meets the Mos Eisley Cantina”

But, the Mos Eisley Cantina is already Casablanca meets the Mos Eisley Cantina!