ANNNNNND I just spit iced tea at my screen.

So...we're fake women, then? But I have a vagina and boobs and I like glitter and ponies and EVERYTHING!

Those are to keep pigeons from roosting there.

My brother is a tattoo artist, but I don't think this is a service I'd ask him to do for me, even if it was free.

HEY! Don't areola-shame her!

ZOMBIE FACE CELLS DEMAND BRAINS!!! BRAAAAAAIIIIIN FACIALS!!!!

I LOLed

Why do they all have blank faces and dead eyes? This is like terrible, sad porn.

GAH! THAT WAS SO CREEPY!

Yes!!! When I'm playing temple run on my nexus 7, I ALWAYS trigger google now at a critical point! AUUUUUURRRGH!!!

First rule of fashion when walking the carpet: CONSIDER THE LIONS.

Yeah, but if a pack of hungry lions had shown up and eaten everyone there, she would have been SAFE with her excellent camouflage skills. Didn't think of that, didja????

Well, I guess you have all types wherever you go, but that is definitely weird for Portland! Everyone I've ever met from there has been super liberal - Portlandia style!

We had a series of male babysitters when I was a kid. They were all brothers and our parents were friends. I remember the oldest was kind of a jerk (glued to the tv, refused to read bedtime stories, wtf dude!), but by the time the youngest was babysitting us, it was AWESOME. He played board games with us and let us…

This has nothing to do with the crazy right-wing nut jobs you encountered (in the pacific northwest! so weird!), but I read this sentence too quickly:

The bigger size is just so hard to find in stores. And I'm not sure I trust the internet with my bra shopping (but I will with my bra problems! HI INTERNET! MY BOOBS ARE AWKWARD!). So I buy the smaller size and just keep stuffing the right one down.

photo of Rachel Zoes in her little black Dre

My twins are...let's say fraternal. If I size toward the smaller, my other cup spilleth over. If I size towards the bigger, my other is lost in an oversized cup that then develops fabric puckering where it's not fully filled out.

Why? Why??? WHYYYYY DID I CLICK THE LINK????

So I tried following you back but the pop up is "CONTENT BLOCKED BY YOUR ORGANIZATION" which is also why I have to use a burner account while at work; the login pop up for signing in with google is also blocked. In REAL life, I'm evilsciencechick on here.