Probably because everyone knows the lizard people prefer fishnet stockings to pantyhose.

God, there's a mental image I'm never going to unsee...

You keep talking about unplanned pregnancies when everything was done right, and while those do happen, and they suck if they do, the chance of a pregnancy occurring when the couple is properly using birth control drops so drastically that those types of unplanned pregnancies are extremely rare. Proper condom usage,…

Thanks. I was looking to read something that would boggle my mind so thoroughly I would be incapable of forming a thought for a few minutes. This did the trick.

I'm bald. That's going to make it tough to do the french braiding. I can bring all eight seasons of Buffy and two incredibly friendly dogs, though.

If you change 'Bumfuckistan' to 'exclusive artist's colony', you might have something.

He tried catnip when he was younger, but he didn't actually inhale.

I wasn't really being serious, but if you did do it I think it could be accomplished just by moving people within their existing states. You wouldn't necessarily need to make those kinds of distance moves with large numbers of people. I was just looking at the election results on wiki, and there's four districts in…

They kept the House, but for only the third time in history the House minority party received more overall votes than the House majority party. So clearly, we need a program to move Dems from solidly safe Dem districts into marginally Rep districts.

I should add that 'true' conservatives can lose elections when big meany libs, along with the ultra-liberal mainstream media, twist the words of a 'true' conservative.

There's the no one is watching angle, sure, but a huge number of these people believe that candidates from Romney on down lost because they weren't conservative enough, that there were both masses of conservative voters who stayed home because there wasn't a 'true' conservative in the race and masses of confused…

Now I can't stop thinking about Harry Potter riding a dinosaur, drinking a beer and eating pizza.

I hear there's this new app called Face Block that will help you with that.

It's Jeff Flake. He'll have a half-dozen more explanations/apologies between now and the end of the week.

You were not in the least bit lying about the NSFW...

I meant no offense to rats with that statement.

I know it's never going to happen, but I want to see every single one of these ratfuckers get voted out.

Noooooo! They need to keep talking about it. Continually. Constantly. They need to talk about rape, and abortion, and how women don't really need income equality, and a host of other anti-woman topics. And while they're at it, they should talk about more about how immigrants need to go back to where they belong, and…

I'd make another joke, but we all saw how well that went over last time.

Ah. I think it was meant as a joke. That someone who would say they did it to keep the woman warm wouldn't stop there in their attempt to make ludicrous defenses for indefensible actions.

We've been meaning to speak with you about your slacking.

Signed,
The Patriarchy