In certain states, he could probably attempt a 'stand your ground' defense...

Basically, a good samaritan law says that if you attempt to help someone, you won't be held liable if your attempt to help doesn't work, either because it just didn't work, because you didn't do it well, or because you did it improperly. The prime example is someone attempting to give mouth-to-mouth to a suffering…

I got the digital concert download for my $1 backing.

I really wish Nolan would have brought Oracle into his Bat-verse. She's a great character and fits perfectly into his 'no-powers' concept.

I think Captain Marvel has great potential for a solo film. Bring her into Avengers 2, then spin her out into her own film. In addition to the individuals you mention, there are…

To be fair, one of those guys apparently has a conclussion...

(Here's hoping I'm not the only one who caught that particular misspelling)

The woman who thought me being in law school meant I was going to become a cop.

When I park the car at work, I get out, start walking towards the building, and when I get about 15 feet away from the car I raise the remote keylock and press it twice, once to lock the car and once to make the horn beep. In my mind the horn beep is replaced by a massive explosion, and though I imagine that I can…

High fives you back

I get it, I do. Growing older sucks. Someone like that starts to convince themselves that having a younger woman on their arm tells the world they've still got it, they're still viable, they're still something. Except it doesn't, not really. What it really tells the world is that they're insecure…

I have profiles on both POF and OKCupid. As a male looking for a woman, I've noticed that OKCupid profiles tend to be better written than those on POF. I've also noticed a lot more profile pictures of women holding alcoholic beverages on POF than on OKCupid, and more women on POF looking for men who own Harleys. I…

I don't? *sobs uncontrollably*

Seriously though, I'm 53 and I can't imagine having a functional relationship with anyone younger than, oh, maybe 38-39? My daily overabundance of cultural references from the 70s and 80s are much better shared with someone who experienced them at the same time and at the same age I did…

Can't...stop...watching

In other words, when you own a big chunk of the bloody third world, the babies just come with the scenery?

Could you try harder? 'Radical feminists aren't funny' is the free-square on the Asshole Apologists Bingo card.

No, because dumping your dead gay fetus might hurt the reservoir. However, if you hired someone to turn your dead gay fetus into something that could be used to drill for oil, well, now we're talking.

The problem wasn't that the scar decreased her hotness, the problem was that the scar made customers realize women had brains. That could not stand.

And there goes my lurker status...