The other day I gave my great-niece a garden angel statue - a kneeling fat baby angel. She proclaimed "I shall call him Otis!" Then somehow he became "Little Baby Otis," so all day we were saying "Did you remember Little Baby Otis?" "Watch Little Baby Otis's head." Kids are great.

"Beyoncé doesn't just sit at the table. She builds a better one."

I happen to know a kick-ass seven-year-old named Otis. It is an awesome name! But I hope it doesn't get trendy.

I love the name Otis because I immediately think of Otis Spunkmeyer and then I think of cookies and then I eat all the cookies.

"Still young career"?

Holy shit, Baby George is secretly dating Tom Cruise, abusing Vicodin, and lying about having miscarriages for sympathy? His parents need to ground him.

Oh jeez, remember in history class, where we studied those craaaazy Han Chinese and their nutso foot binding practices? I remember thinking, "why would anyone put themselves through something like that? That's just stupid!"

I read the phrase elimination communication and had a conscious uncoupling from my sanity.

ETA: I just realized how horribly wrong this caption is, but I'm too lazy to look for a new one. Sorry, team.

So was the car accident planned as part of the prank? Because if not, I think it's pretty rich for Katy Perry to talk about how dangerous the stunt was ... for her!

I know Drew Barrymore and her baking-cookies-with-my-BFF-Cameron Diaz-and-naming-my-kids-cutesy-names lifestyle is supposed to make me all like GROSS, but instead I just want to bake cookies with Drew Barrymore, too! HALP ME!!

I feel like Katy Perry is constantly trying SO DAMNED HARD all the time; trying so hard to be clever and funny. And it just...backfires. It makes me hurt.

I know we hate Taylor, but if she really is reading feminist literature on her own volition, and expresses some desire to incorporate that into her public utterances, I'm willing to reconsider the stance on behalf of everyone. Thanks for putting me in charge of membership, guys!

Thank you for sharing such a horrendous and personal story; it's great to hear that you've moved on/gotten some sort of justice. And thanks so much for shedding some light on Barbara. Her big emphasis in this first Daily Mail interview is that she's destitute and homeless now – if you have an opinion, does that ring…

I feel sick, and livid, and a whole host of other feelings. I know you're fine and have won... but people like that have NO PLACE in education or around children EVER.

Reading this made me so sad I could cry . I'm so sorry for everything you went through and I'm happy your okay. This BASIC BITCH is getting her KARMA.

I have a few observations of Barbara Winfrey - she was an assistant principal at my high school.

It's... The Secret!

'She was a horrible decorator. Money cannot buy you taste. She would put plaid with stripes and all sorts'

Barbara and Vernon were often put up in hotels when they went to visit Oprah