Do not mansplain this to me.

No. You can't take a naked picture of a 15 year old girl, WITHOUT HER CONSENT OR KNOWLEDGE and distribute it on the Internet and expect a "oh kids these days," reaction with no consequences. Throw the book at these little fuckers.

great question and great asterisks, sir!

I swear you gotta know who your [sic] around man . . the closest people to you will try and sabotage you by taking a picture of you while you are thoughtful enough to have sex with two of them on Thanksgiving and then sharing that picture on Twitter without your knowledge or consent.

STOP IT. JUST STOP.

now we kiss right?????????????????

I really don't understand how their recommendation algorithm works. I stopped looking at the "top picks" list because they kept including things and saying that "based on your history, we think you would give this one star." Why are recommending things you think I'll hate, Netflix?

I'm going to have to go with, "Now I know what evil tastes like!"

Oh my god it gets funnier every single time

Whose?

Arby's is throwing some shade.

To quote my friend Nick, this is schadenfreude so thick and rich you can drizzle it over pancakes.

Good to see Fisher finally bring the authority when it counts: on the field, in Winston's final game, and one that is out of reach.

Fucking dust. I need to hire a cleaner

ILLUMINATI!!!

Here's what I know:

Everyone loves an acronym (as evidenced by all those WWJD bracelets and such), but I don't think ZXGVULYWOPT is gonna catch on.

Christ, remind me to never pass out at a party with you around.

Waking up with a crude Sharpie dick on one's face is bad enough but you'd probably be all up in there incorporating cheek moles to represent some tiny obscure penis glands and making that shit a masterpiece.