I feel the same way on airplanes but I think the annoyed stares are mostly due to my tentacles.

Their facebook page says 72k. So, you know, just shy of a million.

Well . . . I’m not so sure that Mariah can really sing anymore.

You fight the fight, where you can. *fist bump*

I actually wrote the comment specifically hoping it would ruin your life. My work here is done.

I misread your “YES” as meaning “consent” and had a good laugh at how clever you were being. Then realized I was just in an echo chamber of my own cleverness.

all those husbands's and I bet she still feels alone

Yeah. People are fascinated by you, but not for the reasons you think.

"I personally don't think the lobster on her pussy is real," she said matter-of-factly over brunch. "But Page Six attests to its veracity."

Looks up on webmd: "My fanny looks like a lobster"

Most dudes go home and beat off after pretty much any encounter with a female. I've been flying half-mast all day since the drive-thru lady asked if I wanted a receipt.

shiiiit, mr. Give me 12 mill, hell, 10 mill...and I will kidnap and kill this lady, chop up her body, and eat all of it so there's no evidence left. I ain't greedy.

I can't ignore it, because it was funnier than yours.

I spent an incredibly surreal Father's Day dinner seated with my parents at a table next to OJ Simpson, his older daughter, the two kids he had with Nicole Brown, his mother, and some girlfriend that was probably younger than his oldest daughter.

My homosexual agenda is a Lisa Frank notebook, and it's fabulous.

I'm sobbing, that's beautiful.

Jesus was pretty forgiving and embracing of people from all walks of life. I guess these people are better than him.

-sips Lipton-

Pretty much begins and ends with this.