So you apparently found the one non-crappy thing about United...their hot pilot who loves babies.

With $550 million, I may be able to put a very small dent in my student loans bill.

That's a classic Aniston move. Change the hair to camouflage a little face work.

Cheese imitating Velveeta imitating Cheez Whiz.

Ran out of time; this was the best I could do with your composite request.

I got sent to princess bootcamp when I married King Blobfish.

Don't be ridiculous. The seventh gate is at the bottom of an Applebees toilet. Gawd, everyone knows that.

This gif makes me laugh while terrifying me. Holy crap that spider is HUGE!

You forgot one.

- Wandering around aimlessly after having forgotten that you no longer lived on that street due to Alzheimer's disease.

Mr. Martin was not killed for Skittles or tea. He was killed for being black and young.

I try to take the good out of things. In this guy's short life, he did the absolute best with the hand he was dealt and made a positive impact on people. Rest in Peace

Ethan Hawke's quote has been misspelled. He practices "monogame," which is a belief that women should be faithful to me but I can screw whomever I please. Initiations into this ancient sect generally occurs when young men reach the ages of 15 or 16, and membership lasts until the unfortunate day the shoe ends up on…

Serious question, is the Kardashian Kristmas Kard a pop-up card?

I don't know... this has not been my experience. A lot of the threesomes I've had started with online flirting and progressed to RL with at least *some* degree of understanding about what would happen. And they were most enjoyable, regardless. :)

"A man's value is mainly determined by his resources, intellect, and character."

Well Ray J was the one that wouldn't get out of her seat.

You put the ingredients in dry, then shake the bottle, dummy.