Got pulled over by a state rod speeding. I’d just passed a huge pickup with a lift kit and enormous tires. When the trooper (missouri troopers sexy bitches) asked me why I was going so fast, I told him I was upset because that “ big stupid truck” threw a rock into my windshield. I pointed at a tiny, 3 year old crack.…

Joan Crawford 

The time I bulled up and refused a doctor's shrieking order, thereby sparing the patient's life. The doc's face! I died.

Back in the Day, I was guilty of monitor watching. My instructor sneaked behind the curtain and began rapidly tapping on the EKG lead, which LOOKED  like a rhythm incompatible with life, right? I burst through the door and the instructor screamed, "WATCH THE PATIENT AND NOT THE MONITOR!!" And she was correct in doing…

Ah, but here to say as old ER nurse: women’s symptoms not as clearly “cardiac” as a male’s, but women will/ tend to seek help.

More intriguing yet are the bottle cisterns made by some long dead masonry genius out of handmade brick. One is pristine, and holds water. The Aged P tells me federal troops watered their horses there during the Civil War. I’ve found many Minie balls on site as a kid, I thought they were just big dumb bullets.

I bought a tiny house. It’ll be delivered in 2 weeks. Monday, the bulldozer guy. It’s on an ancestral piece of land with ancient cedars, and an old Civil War trace that goes back to the river. Been doing some sleuthing and found foundations of old log cabin. Found an arrowhead. I’ve cut shit tons of blackberries by…

Oh, girl. I've been down home for 7 months doing 24/7 care for my elderly parents. I miss KC so MUCH. It's hard to get away, but I still hit Red Racks and City Thrift, when I can. People don't realize, KC the greatest city on the planet.

Thirty four years out from a dear one's suicide. Found her, cleaned the scene. Yeah, I'm still pissed, but I don't ever remember wishing her to rot, dude. 

Same. I was a tot, and I thought “do you want a whippin?” meant I was being offered a delicious type of candy. Hell, yes, I was down for a whippin!

Random memory: my five year old son listening to me open a tampax thru br door. “ i can hear you, mom! I know you’re eating Snickers!”

Heartily endorsed 

I’m sorry, but the statute of limitations for Blaming the Mother ends for everyone at age 30. After that, fish or cut bait.

Thank you, fellow greyling.

This new “never socialism” is a variation on the old Gollum “oh god, communism” we herky-jerked to back in the day. 

This is a “chinlet” which is rarely seen in the wild without its protective goatee. I caught one on my game camera, eating out of my trash can.

Yeah, and try walking into the barn when the babies are out of the nest, but not flying too well yet. They rapidly walk around like robots, about knee high. The effect is...disconcerting.

Ha ha, once I heard my husband ( chief of fire dept) on the phone with a lady wanting him to deploy the ladder truck to rescue a cat in a tree. He tried reasoning with her, no dice. Then I heard him say, “ All due respect, ma’am, but have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?”

I regret to inform you I am called...Dickless. But that joke was good cheese.

And wiped himself off with that crusty old sock he keeps under the bed