Mmmm, awesome, but our man is dead sexy.

Fucking snap!

Me, too. Hell, like what you want. Hemingway wrote some great short stories before he started bloviating. Once he sank to worrying about the size of Fitzgerald’s dick, it was game over. Hey! Maybe Franzen’s maid is Fitzgerald’s dick!!?

Sleepy Time tea, scalding hot, lots of it. Makes you pee and sedates you, a little

All us nursing school bitches began to cycle at the same time and the sky rolled up like a scroll.

Oh, he’ll be staring down the barrel of the state board of nursing. If he’s applying for school, forget it. If he’s in school, he’s out. They DON’T PLAY.

Me,too! I’m a nurse and I’ll assess patients using the doctor’s voice, and they look SO confused when doc comes in and starts talking. Also, I'm the SHAT at starting an IV.

Bipolar mania. I have a bed available on the locked unit, don't worry, I got this.

I drew blood for an alcoholic that was brought into our ER. It was over 0.5. The guy was found in someone's shed, clutching an empty gallon of Popov. He was walking around and arguing with staff. Doc said, -No way, Dubious..draw it again. Which I did, and the second test was HIGHER.

Nurse here. For what it’s worth, I’ll tell you a story. I cared for a lady with advanced cancer. I knew her from before; she had four beautiful grown daughters and they swanned around town together. A very tight and happy relationship.

Face like a clenched fist. My best friend of forty years, who knows me better than anyone, gave me a sanctimonious lecture in front of her 14 year old daughter about the sanctity of heteronormative marriage. (I’m gay as can be..) I could tell she thought of this as a teaching moment for her child. She huffed out of…

I’ll try. I’m a white nurse working as a charge in a locked down psych facility. 80% of patients/ staff are black. I had a motorcycle accident Sunday. No broken bones, or head injury, praise God, but I’m in so much pain!! My patients are severely delusional schizophrenics. When they saw my black and blue and white ass…

A mom here. My 17 year old son asked me (patronizingly) “do you still have sex?

Ok. Here’s a story. I was doing rounds through the enormous factory. I was In the warehouse looking for “safety” issues. I hear a furtive rustling, so I snoop. I find a little screw shack in the center of millions of pounds of candy boxes. It was made of cardboard and lined with packaging material. Two employees were…

You're welcome, fellow grey untermensch.

I worked as a nurse for a large candy factory. I’d seem my share of heart attacks, scaldings and what-not. One day an employee put his hand into what amounted to a giant mouse trap and lost his entire index finger. The finger went on down the line and was covered with delicious chocolate. An alert line worker noticed…

Microcephalic

My kids liked to catch little bullhead catfish in the local creek. One time they brought a few home in a bucket and left them on the patio. A black snake found them and evidently thought “easy peasy” and swallowed one. We found him head down in the bucket, dead. The bullhead had finned the snake through the top of his…

I'll sit by you!

Because he knew he was winning. He heard the crowd going apeshit. Because the jockey was talking to him. Because it feels so damn good when all the stars are aligned and the race is perfect. (Former competitive runner with bad knees.)