I knew an old stoner that smoked a pipe exactly like this. He called it the Lung Buster.

My kids played with wooden spoons and canning jar rings. Old pots and pans and whatever was in the junk drawer. The only thing I carried in the "diaper bag" were cloth diapers, washcloths and a plastic bag to put pissy diapers in. Also a wooden paddle that had "see what you made me do?" written on it with magic…

Got my motorcycle license on the same day I took my driver's test,in 1978. I've always ridden Honda, except for a brief Suzuki Boulevard episode. I have a 750 now and I ride everyday, weather permitting. I get the pressure from the Harley crowd to come over, but my Honda suits me just fine. I have excellent sex and…

Blue Moon tastes like celery and sadness.

Don't apologize. Facts is facts. Medical professional here. A little voice crying "beware!" is not preachy. Benzos will bite you on the ass and deserve great caution and respect.

I was taught that safe detox from benzodiazepines meant medical supervision. One of the docs I worked for HATED benzos..he said tapering a long term Valium habit in the bad old days of "mommy's little helper" took about six weeks.

I use a pencil a bit lighter than my brow and get a good sharp point. I stroke those little psuedo hairs in and you really cannot tell. I tried the powder trick, but I'm all thumbz.

Ah, but you have charm and wit! ( and your aristocratic pedigree)

Aging is rough. I didn't mind the drooping of the bosoms nearly as much as the fading of my perfect black eyebrows. They look like mice chewed on them. I'm getting pretty skill with a pencil, but still.

Hilarious!

Have a cigar and don't worry about it.

"She lives in a little house on a bend in the lane..." Is this a clue? "She used her Pampered Chef cleaver on the bend in his leg.."

I thought of the baby in Eraserhead.

Murder you say? I sat next to a Right Wing Asshole during the Clinton/BJ boondoggle. He just kept it up and kept it up until I told him I'd..(crude sexual comment regarding the Presidential Unit). Then I told him I pick someone's vote every election cycle to cancel. "You're the one!" I hissed. The last I saw, he was…

You made it into the black!

You obviously aren't able to consider another viewpoint and your obscenity is a dullwitted trade for an intelligent response. Sorry I responded to you. POOF! I'm outta here, pottymouth.

Splitting hairs. You wished literal physical harm on someone, and he fantasizes revenge on someone. Two sides of the poor impulse control coin. Own it.

WOW, I read your comment, yawning, until I got to the last sentence. What a hook! You should write for the movies!

Persian!? I worked with a doctor that was Persian. Oh! He was so nice, all the nurses loved him..he talked in such a beautiful, poetic way about his wife. He would get emotional talking about her and his big green eyes would fill with tears. Then he'd run off to the doctor's sleep room to hide and compose himself.…

Le Dix by Balenciaga. Arpege. Odalisque. Chanel No.5. Shalimar (original). Aviance (70's). Toujours Moi. Persian Wood by (!) Avon.