"I'm a Republican because my friends need a fifty-cents-an-hour paycheck, because it's so hard for millionaires to stay millionaires when they're so cruelly forced by the government to support freeloading employees by all these horrible regulations that try to keep toxic chemicals out of my drinking water."

What a bunch of fuckin' dweebs. Holy crap.

Ahem, the "abortion-is-wrong-barista" is actually an "abortion-is-wrong-Asian-lady-barista." She hits the minority-lady-parts-minimum-wage trifecta!

Oh my god, the acting in these is so bad, I'm dying.

Check out the trailer

Look. I’m not even across the board anti a non-American Indian Tiger Lily. Taking Indians described as such out of Peter Pan is probably a good thing, since their inclusion basically speaks to an actual (if offensively inspecific) people as fantasy creatures (on par with mermaids and pixies). (Though, of course,…

The Girl Who Danced Around Fire?...eh, close enough :( where's the sequel?

So what they are saying is that in this day and age where Disney doesnt even see race or understand what the difference is it would be kind of racist not to let a white person play a Native American.

Oh god. Dottie Sandusky isn't just some lady on the tv to me — I'm from the town where this happened, where everybody knows each other. Dottie Sandusky, Sue Paterno... these are women my mom has gotten her haircut with and done neighborly lady things with all my life. My mom is a formal social worker and whip-smart…

I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect her to fully admit and recognize the crimes of her husband. She is a victim of his crimes, too - in a different way. If I found out my husband of 40 years had done something catastrophic, I would do everything in my power - out of desperation - to find ways it wasn't true.

Icy Pops! They make mango flavored ones now. Delicious! Did you ever get the cuts on the corners of your mouth from the sharp plastic of the Icy Pops? Almost as dangerous as Capt'n Crunch on the roof of your mouth.

Probably to get a hand job from a radio actress in the back bar.

The husband should not forget during intercourse to tell his wife how much he loves her, how wonderful he thinks she is, how much delight she is bringing him.

I don't know, my job affects way less people and I have to take 20 hours of training courses per year with mandatory ethics courses to renew my professional designation license.

Please hold while I THROW UP AND SET EVERYTHING ON FIRE.

This is actually indicative of the new trend happening amongst young Tumblr professionals these days, which is "labia gap." The idea is that your vaginal lips must be positioned to form a sort of upside-down horseshoe; the wider the horseshoe, the more cachet among your fellow teen bloggers. There is training that you…

I was one smothered with kisses by 15 not-so-great dane puppies. It was okay, but I was kinda expecting better.

I know, it's like that bizarro weight loss thing that pops up on my FB with Oprah's face glued onto Halle Berry's body.

"I have no idea how Roman numerals work!"

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