The insight is: Petunia is a big ol' jeally, hater; Lily was awesome and magic. Lily went to Hogwarts, but the Jeally School in Aurora, CO is ready to take Petunia in!

I can only hope that the first line is "JUST KIDDING WITH THAT WHOLE EPILOGUE THING! Can't believe you fell for that! I mean, every living character marrying their first teenage sweetheart and popping out a bunch of kids, even tho wizards live twice as long as muggles so they have all the time in the world? that would…

Well, clearly, as that song demonstrates, they changed the character to be a failed pop star or actress. (and believe it or not, she's only 7 years younger than Burnette was when she played Miss Hannigan.)

well, i've got less than a month... if i haven't done it by now, it's not gonna happen. i'll just be shitty forever.

oh my god, that went on a long time! why didn't anyone push that guy in the pool or call for help from another teacher?

I didn't see that part.

Fuck this guy. And fuck this paid leave bullshit.

what's wrong with sweet grits? it's just like oat meal. I add maple syrup to them.

This is what those privileged, middle aged, white guys said making fun of poor Lorde:

you are stupid.

not to me. you can't see any human remains, they just look like poorly made dolls. i was expecting bones and norman bates shit.

well, it doesn't specifically say that they were 12, but since one was a "runaway", she had to be underage. and he talked about a tent full of "girls" at a youth center, so they were probably underage, too.

yes, it was Jimmy Savile: http://jezebel.com/5948525/famous…

Cracked.com keeps me informed of all the horrible shit celebrities did:

That British guy who gleefully admitted to raping 12 year olds in his memoirs like there was nothing wrong with it, and never got punished because he was so popular no one wanted to arrest him. what the fuck was his name? someone else here must know who i'm talking about...

Me either! goddamn it. I didn't know about the Woody Allan-Dylan Farrow story until she wrote that letter. It was a little before my time, but I remember people making jokes about him marrying his step-daughter, so why did no one keep talking about his other crimes?

better question: WHY are you drying your salad leaves after you wash them? just shake them off and put them in the salad.

Wire cheese slicer. Is there a more specific name for it? The kind that is attached to a board with a little notch cut in it. my parents were given it as a gift and were like "wtf? we will never use this!" and i was like "hells yes, i'll use it!" now i can get even, consistent slices of smoked gouda to put on my…

well, you're really paying for the stand...

Maybe if my brother has spent more money on his hammock, two middle strings would not have snapped when I laid down on it, sending my head to collide with the middle bar and rendering me trapped for a good 5 minutes til i could manage to flip the whole thing over. and if you think 5 mins is not a long time, try being…