The new term is orthorexia: an obsession with “proper” or “healthful” eating.

In the words of Mr. Colbert:  “Go, Team that Lives Near Me!  Destroy that team from Nearby Town! My team is the best team and will always be the best team, until I move!”

They know that if they show up looking better than Dad, they’ll get disowned. Can’t upstage the Emperor.

“Your product makes light of the suffering our people endured at the hands of the government.” Pretty reasonable take, honestly.

“saffron-colored urine”

Because the constant, seething desire by the wealthy and influential to prove themselves superior and worthy of attention will never be sated?  Is that it?

*chef kiss*

Now now, we can’t approach this issue with such a shocking lack of gravitas.

Some day, awareness of the Streisand Effect will become common among the upper-class bloviator set, and we’ll lose this kind of mirth.

Crap, you’re right.  I was confused because Trump Airlines used 727s before its ignominious failure.

Yeah! Screw those Coastal Elites with their New York City penthouse apartments, degrees from Wharton, inherited wealth, and gold-plated toilets! Those fuckers never did anything for us real Americans! I bet they paint their names on the sides of their private 727s just so everyone knows how rich they are!

There’s two reasons: systemic sexism and anti-intellectualism. She’s smarter than 95%+ of the electorate, which makes a majority of people hate her because they think that any sign of intelligence is either elitist or insulting to them; and of course the underlying fear and hatred of successful, outspoken women.

Either them or Pats fans.

Wait until his over-privileged grandson Spaulding is in charge in a few decades.  Imagine the utter self-centeredness of Jerry mixed with the unreasoning bravado of the ultimate Highland Park douchebag.  It’ll be a glorious train wreck.

If you’re roasting and carving, don’t forget the oyster.  It goes right at the top of the list.

“or a taco”

Less than 5 minutes!

There are too many games and too many other demands on our time. I’m not hauling ass all the way out Arlington on a weeknight to sit in traffic for two hours each way, pay for overpriced food that my kids won’t eat, watch a mediocre team get thumped by whatever spares the opponent rolls out, and then get up for work…

Quick! Somebody point him to Yahoo Answers!

$20,000,000 = 21.3% of a single F-35.