I have a special face I like to use, called my “Customer Service” face, a combination of “I am bored”, “I am too stupid to remember to breathe” and “I am stoned”, a semi-lifeless, glazed eyed, open mouthed stare. The stupid/angry combination expects you to be a mouth breathing moron, so I give them what they want.…

You should have rushed to the back, grabbed an epipen and stabbed her in the thigh. :)

You stop racism by embarrassing racists, actually. These girls somehow got to college without knowing the basics about two of the most influential and populated countries on this planet. Now that they’ve hopefully felt stupid (if they’re self-aware enough to realize that they were being stupid), they’ll learn…

Re: the fake allergies

That white zinfandel story reminds me of something that happened at the first bar I ever worked.

These two dude bros straight up swagger up to the bar (which was fairly busy). Popped collar hamptonites with less money than they want you to assume they have. The one guy leans in over the bar and shouts “Lemme get a ZIN…

Presumably the first dirty glance was simply because she didn’t like to have her date order for her.

That would be a fair point if the OP had started off correcting the waiter; but the waiter struck first here. And if the place is “high-end,” as indicated, then its ignorance moves from understandable to less so, and the waiter’s “correction” from inane to aggressively idiotic.

She wanted to make sure we knew that she wasn’t really just a lowly hostess.

To garnish the martini. What do you think we are, Republicans?

Ok - It’s been a long time since I have been a restaurant server; but in the interest of fair chipolittle, I have to tell you there are some pretty awful idiotic servers out there as well.

*White* chocolate isn’t really chocolate. ;)

Yeah, the omission up front is necessary for the reveal at the end.

I suspect that with a fair number of such people “allergy” is used interchangeably with “dislike.”

I can’t even make a snarky comment to that one because Ipecac is some dangerous shit.

A yuppie and his date came into the bar. It was obviously early in the relationship and he was obviously showing her how urbane he was.

This would’ve made an excellent submission.

I assume because it adds a bit of a humorous setup to the “but we wanted the tour of the factory!” line. Turns it into a punchline, making it a nicer story than just “look how dumb these idiots were” :)

I resent the implication that canerows aren’t meant to be attractive. Just because a style is protective doesn’t mean it isn’t also meant to look good.

“Now THAT’S White Zinfandel!” which he promptly poured into his monogrammed thermos.

What is it with sushi and stupid people? I was out to dinner this weekend at a very nice sushi place (the kind where they serve sushi and that’s it, no hibachi or noodle dishes or anything) and the two women at the table in front of us were absolute nitwits. They sat down, looked over the menu, and then started doing…