I can give Trump more excuses in that he’s a stupid spoiled brat who was never taught anything better. Mitch came from rather humble backgrounds and had polio himself, but now wants to actively harm children who are struggling. 

A similar quote that I also enjoyed from a Hamilton Nolan piece earlier this year:

Agreed. Trump is an idiot who hurts people through his blundering and greed, but Mitch seems to have sat down and carefully planned out how best to erode democracy and build systems of exploitation.

In many ways, Mitch McConnell is worse than Donald Trump.

“The thing about the cowboy way is that you’re honest”

That is true Brownian Motion being exhibited. 

Fixed! 

Or “Future social media intern for the Trump administration”

They should post another one that says: “I am a former social media account manager.”

1) Nobody has any idea if that’s an off-the-shelf inhaler containing exactly the drugs he says is in there and not some other drug combination. You have to confiscate and test anything like that to preserve integrity, and why go to such a hassle of allowing that? Because...

2) This shit is 3 5-minute rounds. At that…

Jesus Christ, those suggested Deadspin links.

How is ESPN, a network that employs hundreds of sports announcers, journalists and TV hosts, so bad at finding a solid team to call a football game? Just shove Rex Ryan or Randy Moss in there and lock the doors until the game is over

Another way for people to make money off of free labor.

I like how 1-800-AAA-HELP looks a phone number turned into panicked scream.

My personal favorite, from back when all this naming-rights foolishness started, was the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl

So the argument is “We know how to build a baseball team, and that gives us the freedom to be complete assholes.”

I keep thinking back to how their current ballpark opened as Enron Park, and while they’ve long dissociated themselves from Enron (they had to pay $25 million to remove all the signage and rename the stadium!) but I feel like the “smartest guys in the room” legacy lives on.

The biggest tragedy in all of this is that they probably won’t be able to find another white heterosexual ivy league finance bro to take Taubman’s place.

In his defense, the longer he stays on stage, the longer Robocop has to triangulate his location and shoot his dick clean off.

I’m honestly surprised that the players wont be independent contractors.