In Seattle where we seem to have the worst outbreak, I haven’t been to a single store that has any in stock and online retailers seem to be sold out. I don’t typically use hand sanitizers, because I wash my goddamned hands like an adult human, but I do know that I’ll be flying within the next two weeks, so if i can’t…

Look, nobody wants to live in Syracuse.

I’m not him, but is it not obvious that the best performance art is professional wrestling?

I wish I could star this twice, or maybe thrice.

This is the correct answer. Every. Fucking. Time.

John Krasinski is the living embodiment of the opposite of fantastic.

Left Eye’s rap break alone makes No Scrubs a better song.

Human meat Soylent Brand Dog Food

The app sounds cool, and I’ve used Higdon’s plans to run 15 halves and a full marathon (and using it for my 16th half now).
If you just want an ICS file of one of his plans you can plug your race date into http://www.yourtrainingcalendar.com/ and it’ll give you an importable calendar file. Works superbly with google…

If it makes you feel any better, give me like 15 years and I won’t be able to do it anymore.

I’m 40 and I still do that.

Those are good. I also like candy corn (or even better candy pumpkins). I celebrate all the bad candies.

When I put my arlo system together two years ago it backed up for like 14 days without a subscription. I don’t know if that applies to new Arlo systems or not.

I watched that commercial with weird tears in my eyes while at the same time thinking about how Google was mining that poor man’s memories of Loretta for billions, and simultaneously wishing that the Kool Aid Man would just cry on Loretta’s grave. 

Yeah, I’ve been involved with two roll20 campaigns. The one didn’t run was super fun. The one that I did run took so much set up that it took a lot of the fun away.

I was going to say D&D, but all of my parties have shifted to beyond, so we all have tablets and computers while we adventure.

Gingerale, Grenadine and full spectrum CBD extract. 

While I don’t care that much for sushi, unlimited hot pot is a thing that is near and dear to my heart (and stomach). 

Maybe it’s regional, but there is definitely a Chicken McMuffin. Here in Seattle, it’s on the 2 for three, so one of the sandwiches and a sausage burrito is a good breakfast if you ask for extra hot sauce. Because if you don’t the Chicken McMuffin is dry as something that’s very dry.
A bigger revelation is Jack in the…

Do you have any books of jokes?