If he were jerking off, he probably would have turned off the Victoria’s Secret show to avoid the distraction.

July 31, 2011: Announced he had been diagnosed with Boarderline Personality Disorder, and has been undergoing treatment to understand and manage his condition ever since.

I wonder how many players in 2035 will be named Barkevious.

Please name a team who has played and won against a better slate of games.

Dantonio has to be the best coach in college right now, right?

Technically he’s already named it Eqdgdpfajsf, but that was just for the customs papers.

He deleted the original tweet, so it’s a screengrab. Take a break, Jeff. Everything’s okay.

Finally! An offensive move by Roy Hibbert!

Fucking Sheep: Well, it’s obvious we just aren’t welcome here.

Well, if the Cowboys cut Hardy he can always try his hand at Quidditch. There’s a sport that really needs beaters.

I can’t stop laughing at this:

Flutie’s dad was long rumored to have a better arm than Doug, but who knew his mother was also better at passing.

These are not the 72 virgins they were expecting.

Last Week Tonight has definitely changed my Sundays. It’s made it a LOT more interesting.

I don’t hear Rodgers defending Norwegians when fans chant “VIKINGS SUCK”!

“Five letters here, just for everybody out there in Packer land: S-H-A-R-I-A.”

Judging by the bio, Hardy has animosity toward anything with a period.

Ray-Ray Armstrong: The party was nice, the party was bumping. And everybody having a ball.

Nothing interesting happened? Christ, people can’t even recognize progress anymore.

It’s only “out of bounds as fuck” if you accept the clearly broken and untenable NBA rule book. That’s the problem with basketball these days; everybody is trying to protect what they have and aren’t willing to embrace creative solutions to old problems.