It’s safe to assume this never would’ve happened with a player from Anglo State.

Maybe the world finally is changing. We have two guys kissing in the corner, and all I care about is a PFTCommenter shout out.

The squirrel made the decision to roam the field after watching Justin Verlander walk out to the mound every fifth day without being stopped.

Thanks for this blog, Tom.

For the sake of our country, I’m glad our naval forces have modernized since then.

He’s just emphasizing the importance of a nuclear family.

DeSean Jackson (shoulder) did not speak to reporters as he left field after practice.

Fascinating!

Media: Ah, here’s a new wrinkle.

This might hold weight if Baylor didn’t get beat by Michigan State in Texas and what in the hell do you mean one quality opponent? They beat teams that finished the year 13, 5, 4, and 2.

This will go horribly and I’ll love every part of it.

Terrible impression. Shot 100%.

At least it went better than last year’s Bring Your Cat To The Ballpark Day in Milwaukee, which resulted in 6,320 blindings.

“One down, nobody on, bottom of the fifth here at Busch Stadium, as Deadspin Commenter steps up to the plate.”

I chose “Vin Baker’s Training To Manage A Starbucks” because the post is about Vin Baker training to manage a Starbucks. “Vin Baker’s Turning His Life Around” is vague and indirect. I don’t know how I could condense the main point of the story into a headline any more than that. Thanks for giving me the fucking…

That’s a completely factual headline and you’re reading too much into it. I have no reason to make fun of Vin Baker for getting his life together. You’re projecting a lot regarding everything here. Just because you cut your balls shaving in the shower this morning doesn’t mean you can get angry over a perceived slight…

When you realize you get snacks even if you lose

Future Deadspin writer

What part of this post tried to elicit snark, you dildo? I wrote it as straight as possible.