Nah man, come visit here. You'll understand then.

You're so original and hilarious and witty and charming. Please teach all of us troglodytes how it is possible to be so clever!

As a Detroit resident, I can honestly say that this is the worst ever #1 ranking for this wonderful city, including the time when it was ranked #1 in crime.

This picture will give me nightmares, what with #DEMONTHUMB and the Cryptkeeper

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIS FUCKING THUMB

You're so fucking American, it makes me horny.

Oooh fuck yeah, shoot that "HOT SPORTS TAKE" all over my face

Just saw on Twitter :(

I think I'll pass, but thanks for the offer :)

He's gonna be overpaid regardless, so I'd rather it be with us. The Wings could use him badly.

DEAR RED WINGS, PLEASE SIGN NISKANEN THANKS.

I wonder what team you root for

Cue idiots talking about how selfish Lebron is in 3...2...1...

Awesome. Did not realize he had a book. Buying it right now for iBooks.

#BringBackOurGoals

Bell's Hopslam make the cut? Or not counting seasonals? Because it's probably the world's best IPA.

why you speak bad english again again and again?

JAMES RODRIGUEZ

Not for the aforementioned reason though. He's just cranky because he hasn't had his afternoon nap and needs his "ba-ba" because he's hungry.