Shit, I cried like a little girl at Logan and GotG2. Thankfully, Spider-Man Homecoming did not get me in the gut like the other two.

Towards the end of Dances with Wolves, when Wind In His Hair yells at fucking Kevin Costner that he’ll always be his friend. The emotion as he’s yelling is just...

My family is from War Creek, KY, right in Breathitt County. My dad remembers riding a mule to get to his grandfather’s house, while his folks had to walk on the unpaved and undrivable road. We had shiners and revenuers both in the family, but the family reunion was an armistice, since the organizer is a tee-totaling…

There’s nothing in the rulebook that says a dog can’t play baseball, after all.

He also created the role of El Gallo in the original off-Broadway production of The Fantasticks, Billy Flynn in the original production of Chicago, and actually won a Tony. The man is a treasure.

The Salesman!

The inappropriate language used by a guest during the ‘Miz TV’ segment was not scripted nor reflects WWE’s values.

When asked how he got to where he is, Alpha Kaba replied “By culture and by merit.”

Don’t do this to me. The wound is still very fresh, since I only found out yesterday.

That, and his collection of Nazi memorabilia. 

I’m an Android man, myself.

Sadly, neither are in much supply these days. I just wish the tide would finally fucking turn and Washington’s football team change its name.

Jokes on you, my shower is a bomb shelter, for some reason. I have wifi on the toilet, but I move five feet to the shower and it’s like I’m living in an Amish community.

It’s so fucking noisy! Everything fucking echoes! And when your girlfriend’s twin sister is already pissed at you for making too much noise in the bedroom, the shower is just fucking right out!

I explained it forever ago, I have like no control over my ejaculate. I might as well close my eyes and just hope I don’t get any on the ceiling.

Still doesn’t hold a candle to one of my favorite accidental wrestling wins:

Some people see the glass half full; some see it half empty. Today, we’re all seeing the truth: the glasses have piss in them.

I glanced at my address bar and it had the cycling story’s URL on it, so I thought for a brief moment I was replying to the wrong article. Fucking endless scrolling. When I want to post about jacking off on a bike, I’ll make sure to click on the bike article, guys! I don’t need help.

Not going to lie: jerking off in the shower is definitely not as fun as not in the shower. For one, you have to raid the mental spank bank. For two, I hate the feel of semen mixed with water.

I’m just hoping and praying the four opinions written for this case are covering the SCOTUS’s ass enough legally for them to still find a way to nail Snyder. Perhaps the fact that the people registering the trademark are members of the group the slur would disparage, which wouldn’t apply to Snyder’s lily white ass?…