I love how no one is even bothering to attempt a joke. That speech was just too full of "dafuq?" for anyone to handle.

I was listening to Arthur before my small circle of friends had even heard of it!

Come on dude, be serious.

Jesus, what an absolute shitshow of a thread.

.

Prayers to Team Brutus. He's going to beat this.

What's even weirder is that they posted a pic of Jim Abbott.

I guess I should've known the blackout rules ahead of time, but apparently living 1,500 miles away from the media markets in question means jack shit when it's a nationally televised game. I have MLB.TV on Roku and I'm still stuck "watching" opening day on Gameday because it's an ESPN game. Now I know how the Astros…

Yes, there really are college baseball fans out there, although I'd rather we remain in obscurity. I'd prefer the sport remain unpopular than to see it devolve into the corrupted fuck-fest that is college football.

You forgot to show this attachment from the email.

I didn't think it was possible, but now he looks MORE like my lesbian sister.

What single baseball player would a steroid allegation cause the biggest nightmare for MLB's PR team?

Will Seattle get the rights to the Sonics name? Doesn't OKC still own the name?

No, no, no, you've got this all wrong. It was an STD clinic. Herpes=Not using steroids.

A formerly great and respected institution that now struggles to fight off mediocrity and has a large segment of supporters who endlessly and irrationally clamor "we're #1!" and pathetically cling to a former greatness they had nothing to do with and are too young to remember.

and yet, you're still here. I guess it's still news.

"All they need to prove is that their theory is plausible."

Right, and that's pretty much what I'm saying. But from Deadspin's (and many reader's) perspective, they can't run with a conclusion that Manti is innocent until there's some actual evidence to verify it. For now all they can do is report what's being said and say "take this for what it's worth."

If you’d like me to explain it…

Once again, no one has said anything you're pretending to claim. So yes, projection.