They’re entirely trustworthy if you assume failure and disappointment.

Atlanta Falcons somehow lose? You’ve not seen very many Falcons games have you? We don’t find creative ways to win, we find heart-crushing ways to lose. It makes me want to slit my wrists, but god damn if it isn’t true.

Foles foils Falcons; fucks Falcon’s formula for final fight for fulfillment, fortunes for foreseeable future.

Counterpoint: The decision not to run was a terrible one, unless you think it was smart not to trust your star QB to handle basic clock management. That was a first down in a four-down situation, as I recall. You run the ball; if it doesn’t work, you spike it, and you still should have about 10 seconds on the clock.…

Unstarred to star again. There will be a bromance comedy called Insufferable Bastards starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

Do they have a replacement yet? Because I’m available and I know all kinds of stuff about the football sport. For example you’ve got your hails mary, your fleaflickers, unnecessary jawing, illegal use of the hams, that gronkowski guy, etc.

this idea is fantastic. somebody move this person out of the greys

Lena Dunham would just talk about how none of the black players want to fuck her.

But that’s exactly how the Republicans always played the race card back then. (All bets are off now, thanks to the orange turd in the oval office). Because “certain people” want him to succeed implies political correctness and affirmative action. The racist part is he is suggesting that McNabb wasn’t there on his own…

My friend, this is all well and good, but there is one and only one choice to replace Jon Gruden - DMX.

Has anyone reached out to the Tequila Cowboy for comment or is Jerry Jones too busy to talk?

The prevalence of this attitude is what makes the American police terrifying. The US is virtually unique among developed countries in it’s willingness to allow the police to gun down their own citizens. 

You are 100% responsible for each and every round you send down range.

Percentage of fault divided among those involved:

The SWAT officer who pulled the trigger is to blame. The person who called the fake incident into the police is to blame. The person who passed along the victim’s address is to blame.

Proof Rick and Morty fans are the worst. He didn’t even site his source!

How dare he try to find employment elsewhere after his employment was terminated. Doesn’t he have any loyalty?

If he gets a ring with the Pats, will he return it since it’ll basically be like a participation trophy?

Standing on the shoulders of giants, Your Grace...