LOL

"Who the fuck are you.... Trying to pay girls to send you pictures and videos?"

At UNC, this would count for three credits in ENG 301 - Creative Writing.

Shaw will continue to be allowed to attend his classes. However, his teachers have become concerned that maybe his dog didn't really eat all of his homework this semester.

Great job, sir. God damn.

What hypocrites. For years, the league looked the other way while the Islanders took a dump on the ice every night.

The vomit wasn't even the issue here. Gary Bettman just didn't want another clown to be so closely associated with the Stanley Cup.

That little girl would have gotten plunked if a Cardinal was on the mound. No respect, SMH

Terrell Pryor and Matt Flynn would also like to submit their resumes.

Buttfumble aside, I think Sanchez got a bad rap. He could be a decent QB but had absolutely no offensive talent around him when he was on the Jets.

Send Tim Tebow to them... seriously

Yeah any time a starting QB goes down I automatically assume Seneca Wallace is his backup.

Schottenheir Jr. is a testament to the powers of nepotism and mediocrity. A dude so average he can't even accomplish what his dad did and get his team into the playoffs enough times to consistently choke. And I'm looking at you too Shanny Jr

Pitches love vibrato.

"What? She used a vibrato out there?"

"So we figured, hey, let's draw attention to racial inequalities in America by walking hand-in-hand out from this inflatable thing with a purple injun on it."

Yeah, but think of how fuckin' good the speech would have been if they'd won.

I am a Chi O alum and I would be 100% okay with the entire chapter being shut down for this. Absolutely disgusting. No wonder people hate on sororities— we keep proving the stereotypes right.

Asked how he is going to grow the business, "I'm going to be a good CEO, and work hard."

His annual report will read all of five words, "The stock is doing good."