Congratulations!
If I were you, I would try to do the following: unless you get a good feel for the place, try to always be nice, but not overly personal. You don't know everybody's stories and politics, so I would avoid gossip, overly controversial or overly personal topics.
I would be enthusiastic about the…

Be nice to the cleaning staff or clerks or people with other "low-ranking" jobs. (sorry, not English native speaker, so I don't know the term, but you know what I mean). They will appreciate it and sometimes they can be good allies, because they have more overview of what's really going on there.

I was at Monster Jam with my family when all of the sudden I started to feel really gross. I made it to the bathroom and since it was before intermission it was empty. I went all the way to the back stalls where the light was out. I had explosive well, you know. And it did not smell good. Pale and shaking I walk out,…

So, my gross story: I had to do a big poo in a McDonald's bathroom yesterday. Believe me, that is not my first choice of poo venue but it was an urgent situation. The worst part is, the toilet was one of those motion-sensor ones and there was no way no how I could get it to flush by standing aside or whatever. So…

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but every workplace has at least one crazy bitch. So go in with your eyes wide open.

Ask questions! Better to look like an idiot and do the job properly than guess and do the job wrong! Congratulations and good luck!

Valar dohaeris

Jeez, I sometimes get sick of being this me now. The idea of being me forever is at least a little irksome.

"After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."

Sounds like someone is terrified of death.

To jump straight into extreme morbidity, what happens when you teach your kid the principles in this book, and then one of their classmates dies of leukemia, or you or the other parent dies in a car accident. Even if you eliminate death through old age, you still may have to deal with death through disease. And even…

How do we know to rage against the dying of the light if we don't know what dying is?

I don't know; I was kind of getting into that one with the ripped dude eating the hamburger on the beach. That's like all my favorite things in one 30-second TV spot. Add some beer to the equation and I would probably buy anything they wanted me to.

Is it an overreaction to burn the place down? Cause that was my first instinct.

Hidden camera's are my fear right now. I recently found out the guy I broke up with about TEN years ago kept a key to the back door of my house. Not the original one I gave him because I asked for that back - he must have made a copy when he still had it.

Wasn't there a celeb who was watching women on the toilet? I can't remember who that was.

This is seriously messed up, but really all I can think about is how certain I am that if a dude saw what I do when I'm alone, he would lose any and all romantic interest in me.

No arrests because, let me guess, no audio recordings? Someone was recording me years ago and the police basically told me to fuck off since I couldn't prove whether or not there was audio recording.

I don't know why you are ignoring the existence of Panera and their delightful sandwiches but for shame, Uber. For shame.

I'm with you. I used to love them, and now I can hardly find one. Of course, when I do Stumble upon the hallowed ground the spongmonkeys sang of, nobody else wants to eat there. The bastards.