Chet Hundley: "And now to David."

No.

Meanwhile, Jalopnik continues its endless road trip, searching for original content.

Jesus the Fuck, these Navy Seals are off-the-charts-awesome in their ability to feign fauna and fool photogs.

I bought the Belly and the Breeders CDs at the same time, taped them for my car, then couldn't figure out for eons who did what. As a big fan of riot grrls, have you ever faced this dilemma? And, why don't you think Velocity Girl is not recognized as the greatest force of nature since Sandy?

Lost in the glorious history of ESPN sex scandals is the time Craig Kilborn sodomized the ass he made of himself.

Dwayne Wade might finally be getting too fucking old for this shit.

Memo to Detroit: Pull the trigger on Hollins.

Ah, you have to really pretend hard that it isn't CGI.

Hey, NASA, get in line.

"Honest Trailers" is the Jesus H. Christ of satirical teasers. The Avengers, The Amazing Spider-Man, Batman 8— you can never watch these movies the same way ever again.

The Spurs are really getting too old for this lipstick-lesbian....uh, check that. The Spurs are really getting very bold about this lipstick lesbian, you know.

Deadspin followers are really getting too old for this shit.

The basic problem is that a newspaper is still sorta standing that calls itself the Detroit Free Press. Since the spawn of an iconic family, Tony Ridder, destroyed the great newspaper chain known as Knight-Ridder (Freep, Philly Inq, Merc-News, Miami Herald etc.) wasn't the Freep name bought by the goofballs who ran…

"Tony Parrrrkkkeeerrrr!" Duncan shakes a fist shaped like Brent Barry.

Wait. What? You send notes to your personal self and your professional self? Isn't it confusing to decide which one really exists?

Tim Duncan is looking at the stretched ligaments and arthritic elbows and extended shoulders and the broken and jammed fingers he duct-tapes every night, and he is thinking: "Me and the Spurs are really getting too old for this shit."

Thank Allah for bringing a bit of Giz back to Gizmo. I thought you guys would never again deal with the world of wonder. I'll have to check out the long version of this somewhere else, though.

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