A Prayer for Owen Meany: Jalopnik is about vehicles, right? But you're contributing to the blurring of lines between cars, gaming, tech, sports, science and Uranus. That must hurt.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin.

Gibson, pinned down by expert journalists about his decision, said: "Ya know, Tom Ley has been my guiding star for since forever. And I was always a fan of Tony Llama boots. It, finally, came all together. Me Spurs are finally getting too old for this shit."

A Prayer for Owen Meany: Jalopnik is about vehicles, right? But you're contributing to the blurring of lines between cars, gaming, tech, sports, science and Uranus. That must hurt.

Scene: Film room, Pop presiding.

Nah. Craggs' sadness comes from Nicky's decision to abandon the art of subversive journalism and re-assess what he pays people like Tommy.

Huh. I thought the headline was about somebody's favorite facial.

Yeah, I guess we can all agree that Bill Simmons is a plucked and played-out pencil neck who looks like a genetic splice between man and chicken. The real question is: Is Deadspin the Bill Simmons of Bleacher Report?

Now, now, Yoko, you're just venting and name-calling. You could make a constructive counterpoint, but, then, that's asking way too much. Your avatar of Batman is deeply chagrined by your lack of prep.

In other news, John Koblin's sort-of-story took 12 seconds to, um, er, write? Post?

Pop: "How tall are you, really?"

In other Gizmo news, Google and Facebook are in a death match to buy the Israeli mapping start-up that lets users create their own specialized maps. But them, Gizmo is dedicated to bowing down and blowing Nick Denton just before he fires every last one of you pathetic journalismismsters.

Not only did this emo ponce give a blow-job to a tennis player who gets whipped regularly, but he couldn't get his facts straight.

Another thing about the emo, privileged ponce of modern sprawling literature: He was a professional student. He went to school for a living and was an effete example of everything self-pitying. Irks me when this well-hanged wanker is compared with Heller (bombardier during WWII) or Pynchon (Navy vet who worked as a…

Seriously? I don't know anybody who took pride in claiming to have read "Gravity's Rainbow," but more than a few who bragged about tossing it into a corner before finishing it. Those who did read it read it again, and appreciated it on a personal level, particularly since it dealt so deeply with the surrealism of…

And by "Triborough," I'm gonna assume you're from the tri-state area. And you—and I can personally vouch for this—drive like a spazmodick. In Detroit, everybody knows how to drive. They know how to pass at 90 mph on an Interstate covered with ice, they know how to launch from the line whether they're riding a moped…

Wrong. You drive a Ford truck, you are not even in the Big Three of the hats you call ass. Ram? Certainly. GM? Definitely. Ford? Nope.

Whoa, now. Gizmo discovers the telescope tech revolution? But what about that XBox?

....and Deathspiral's death throes get sadder.

Roy: "Shane, ya know, the Spurs...