I think Paul Ryan is capable of it. I think he said he already did it.

I only remember "In the immortal words of Ren and Stimpy, Happy Happy Joy Joy."

"See! See!"

Deftly dealt. +1

My sister married into money and my parents had to spring for a bank account-blitzing bash at a fancy joint with hundreds of people. I was coked out of my gills and, understandably, went up to the microphone and said:

Agreed about WD-40. In a pinch, it works if you have sex with post-menopausal women.

How do I clean breast milk off my rented tuxedo?

I was at a wedding at which the best man closed his brief speech quoting lines from "Ren and Stimpy." Six stoners went into laugh convulsions and about 200 other people looked like they were watching the opening number in "Springtime for Hitler."

Fun facts about Uranus:

The site says the package includes a plane with an "enclosed lavatory." Whooo, fancy shmancy, Mr. Gronk. Do I need to update my vaccinations before I shake your hand?

Or you are in Cabo, and WAY UNDER 21.

Hope I don't choke during the championship suckfest!

So many of life's frustrations come from the gag reflex.

But Brian Jones wound up in Davy Jones' Locker.

Attempted to steal candy? I hope there wasn't a baby involved. Nobody could fuck up something so easy.

Woodson is one of ours because he was the defensive wizard as an assistant coach to Larry Brown when the Pistons won the championship in 2004 and came within 7 minutes of winning a second in 2005. We don't have much, so we claim what we can.

Community reference! Called it.

OK. Take this as a lesson learned in the in-the-moment sportswriter delusional department. I couldn't imagine how you could have fucked up more.

They paid me to live there, and, just like in the movie SLC Punk, there is an underground resistance to provide aid and comfort.

That about sums it up. Knicks hanging around just delays the start of the Premier League season. My coach of the year, Michigan's own Mike Woodson, seriously fucked up the pace of the playoffs.