Ah, the spandex cyclists need to stay in the bike lanes and quit trying to claim roads meant for machines. And I've paid more for an exhaust system that what you are guessing the dude in the plastic hat paid for that bike. The rider's (not the Schwinn surfer's) superior reflexes probably saved Lance Armsqueak from…

Idiot squid? Guy on the Duck was armored up and wearing a top-flight helmet. Bicycle boy was protected by Spanx. Bad enough the box jockeys on four wheels are out there, but some of these cyclists ride almost as slow and as stupid as the drones on the Harley Barcaloungers.

Dude could use a decent pedicare, too.

You make a halfway decent point, but remember this: AIDS awareness and ultimately tolerance gained serious traction after big names such as Magic Johnson and Rock Hudson came out as HIV positive. Magic in particular, because of his stature, was a major force for enlightenment BECAUSE he was a household name.

In Denver, they're saying: "Hey, Johnny Cash covered that Peyton Manning song before he died."

Never had a problem riding the pine.

As a Bird Rights advocate, this makes me want to wring Popeye's neck.

Hey coach: Pull my finger!

Buster Cherry concurs.

It's not just his joyful attitude that's infectious!

Weird what strange things people say when they're coming.

Simon says: "Put your hands on my hips."

Simon Says: "Put your hands on my hips."

Te'doh: "My Gawd. Here I am in Heaven, finally, and Lennay looks so beautiful! Much beautifuller than that dude that said he was her."

Sodomy is a crime against God and Nature, an ancient taboo condemned but practiced by every religion, a shared intimacy that just feels damn good. So what's your problem with the extra $20? Anyway, you're arrested.

If a hooker lowballs anal, your hooker is clearly a cop used to getting comped.

Well, the twin Upton sisters hit back-to-back homers against Jason Verlander and that derp who invited her to his prom.

Ah, hell. I've spent most of my life committed to a hobby—motorcycle sport touring and underground drag racing—and my ribcage looks like a piece of Giger art. I get a cortisone shot a year in my left knee because I torqued it trying to use my legs as curb feelers in a supermarket parking lot. I'm not bragging,…

I like Mike Brown. I don't think LeBron would have been the defensive force he's become without him. Danny Ferry, who flunked chemistry, knifed Brown before bailing so he could become a lousy Dukie GM elsewhere.

Slow it down. CP is pushing off Bryon Russell. Another infamous no-call celebrated.