Step 1: Every MLS club fields a professional youth team

Certainly deserves a spot above the Sam Adams and Harpoon.

Haters Guides To [popular thing] are much funnier when Magary does them.

Pass some of that bourbon over here. Not bad.

Jesus, Greg. You had to go and do him like that?

As you can tell from the attribution and elementary punctuation, that is a quote from a source. You'll know when I'm talking about Tottenham because I will tag the article "LOLSPURS" and preface every team reference with terms "sixth-place," and/or "forever in our shadow." But keep on trolling, baby.

As Germany should know, the US doesn't let a little water stop them from advancing.

Well you're a fag for driving a VW.

This has to be, without a doubt, the most shameful period in German history. I can't think of anything that would even come close!

Win two more games and the USA will be playing in a quarterfinal match on July 4th. I can barely begin to comprehend how awesome that will be.

Wow, way to be dismissive. He could easily be both.

Win two more games and the U.S. Men's Soccer Team will be the biggest story in the country and ratings records will be shattered as the team moves deeper into the tournament. Make it to the final and you'll be looking at the most watched sporting event in U.S. history.

He's mashing a banana into his fax machine at right this moment.

Usually the only chile that runs through things so brazenly comes from Cincinnati

I ran full speed into this one.

You're fighting the majority of commentators, not just Greg.
It's the GoD because there isn't a weak team. Unlike the other potential GoDs.

Germany

Lets take one play and show it as proof. Don't show his hold up and turn against Spain from the Confederations Cup, or his turn and shot against Nigeria last weekend.