I think the look he’s going for is “kid who lives with his parents in Diamond Bar, goes to community college, and spends all his money on tricking out his ‘03 Civic and street racing it in Irwindale at night.”

I thought we were talking about basketball.

This is why Philadelphia never should’ve let the Barnes move downtown.

I’m a fan of the Mount Rushmore 69, myself, where you have four dead white guys staring at you, judging.

Ann Rice can’t melt steel beams.

Stevie Wonder isn’t blind

As soon as the reports came out that LeBron had no idea this was going to happen, I immediately called BS.

Going from SVP to this dipshit is like going from the 1997 Marlins to the end-of-98 Marlins.

Fertilizer can.

I would hope not.

Q: What’s a Rabbitoh?

Haha, yeah, that’s the Oscars, always giving the awards to obscure, snooty art films like Titanic and Gladiator and Lord of the Rings and Braveheart.

He was really smart to be born the son of a guy who owned a team, died, and left it to him. That’s first class business acumen right there.

I find it really interesting that Rex Ryan has been coasting on his “defensive genius on the Ravens” rep for years while getting increasingly poor results as a head coach, but Lewis, who was the DC for the Ravens’ first Super Bowl team (do people remember this?), doesn’t seem to get the same level of respect from the…

Given who his owner is and the regular-season success he’s had in Cincy (postseason obviously another story), I’d say I’m damn impressed with what Marvin Lewis has accomplished there.

Mike Brown: [sees baby eating candy]

I'm surprised you still have time to read Deadspin.

That’s the difference between Calipari (and Pitino, for that matter) and someone like Brad Stevens. It’s one thing to recruit and rig the game in your favor. It’s quite another to make chicken salad out of chicken shit and damn near win a title.

Has he ever shown any traits that translate? Has he ever been known as a master tactician, or a great manager of talent? What he's doing at Kentucky is legendary, but a college coach jumping to the show for that much guap and having success would have to be Saban-level, and he is nowhere near that.

Fucking gentrification, man...