Pretty simple tbh:

He posted the change on the 8th day of the 9th month. 8-9. Who won the F1 championship in 89? McLaren Honda.

Add up 8 + 9 + 17, the entire dates, and you get 34. The Third letter of the alphabet is C, the 4th is D. So c-d, or car-driver. This confirms the sneaking suspicion that he is actually a race…

fun fact: nobody saying “you should have outrun the police” has ever had the balls to try it themselves.

I don’t think anyone put down the 288, 288 Evoluzione or the F40 upon their arrival. Your argument is invalid.

Honestly, all of these cars you show have Pininfarina design and look stunning. This yellow turd looks like an emasculated corvette with birth marks.

Jesus H. Christ this car is beyond hideous.

Is that really what it sounds like, or is that the sound that they're going to pump through the speakers?

Well there can be a V8 soundtrack coming through the speakers lol

Last paragraph, bro.

BMW: "we told our customers they don't need adjustable seats on the new 9 Series. They're BMW customers so naturally they thought it was a good idea too."

Could they please just fix the unibrow?

you forgot to end with

Come on, BMW, you know you want to give the people what they'd never think to ask for, an M6 Gran Coupe GT X-Drive.