Your move, Kanye. LOL

"Get in my mouth, delicious melodies!"

For Whom The Chime Tolls by Metallicka

Where is TotallyNotTheRealDanielCraig? Now I am a disappoint.

Everyone knows the only thing to wear when eating your night cheese is a slanket full of your own farts.

Fan Mail more like Man Fail!

Jesus take the wheel on this trainwreck.

Have you tried Abby Winters? Also Violet Blue can point you in a lot of good directions.

Can we talk about porn for a second?

That's awful. I'm adopted too, and no one has ever said that kind of shit to me. Next time ask them, "how was it, when you touched your mom's vagina?"

Must be that I coveted Miley's brows so hard, they fell off her face and are inchworming their way to my house right now!

my early 2000's self just shit herself and had to change out of her american eagle jeans

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you, People.

NOT FEELING IT.

Finally a Jew gets his chance in the sexy spotlight. Next stop: athletic achievement.

Okay, so... she's not a puppy, but I'm rubbin' her belly anyway. Right. Now.

When I was in the 8th Grade we were supposed to keep journals for English class. We were supposed to write 5 pages a week. My teacher, Ms. Gaffney (the best!), would count the pages and then give us a check, check plus, or check minus. I got so far ahead in my journal it never occurred to me that she was actually…

i love these fools

I put little scarves and things on my dog because she is very old and doesn't look like an adorable puppy to most people anymore (of course to me she is cutest dog I have ever seen, every single day). So when she is wearing something a little fancy or looks unique, more people will stop to pet her and give her…