Patton Oswalt is the real deal.

He did pen a graduation speech that I prefer to David Foster Wallace's.

Is.

Does anyone else see a young Martha Stewart?

2:25 made me emit a horsey-like gaffaw, so . . . there's that.

dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding....ding.....ding.......ding

Redacted. Wrong comment! Ack, and offensive as such!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

HOLY SHITBALLS!

I am distracted by shiny gizmo surrounding Cameron Diaz's phone.

DYNAMITE! You just won my day!

Potentially a little off topic, but I am way, way more attracted to the paunchy Southern Comfort drinking man than Mr. Dr. Pepper. Also, less off topic: I love that the dog took one look and started following him, and I think that detail would work with a woman too. It's clear that he's got swagger, but the interest…

Your comment made me lol. Good day!

Ahhahahahahahahahahaha!

Well if I were John Legend, I guess I'd be making out with some blond in a bathroom about now, too.

Do y'all remember that one rescue scene in "Crash" where Matt Dillon plays the part of a police officer who saves a woman he had previously sexually harassed from a car fire? In cinematic redemption, the picture gets a little bigger than either of their characters.

Amy Davidson brilliantly wrote about the role of "identity" in Amanda Berry's rescue, which was published in the New Yorker before Charles Ramsey's past was revealed. I mention it here, because I think her article regarding the rescue continues to be appropriate and timeless even after our Ramsey identity crisis. …

Y'all know this is satire right?!!? Jordan Asher is the baby Lindy's eating, so she'll call him whatever she damn well pleases and it will be both delicious and hilarious.

Yeesh. I just brain gagged a little reading that.