Plenty of time for him to resurrect his career.

Roses are red

I loved your Master's thesis you wrote at Penn St., "Mussolini: He Made the Trains Run on Time."

Normally it's Scott Walker who frustrates Racine. If it's the kids she's worried about, just hire an Eau Claire and things should be Superior from here on out.

Is it ok to like Gronk? At least he has some personality and seems to enjoy what he's doing. And as far as we know, he hasn't raped/beaten/killed anyone, so that's probably good from an NFL PR standpoint.

"A beer called 'Beast Mode'? No thanks, I'll pass."

Just like Deadspin to tear down a guy like Jones. You guys are always looking for the fault in our stars.

Well that's certainly one way to get Tressell back in a bowl.

In 1969, Charlie Scott lost the ACC player of the year award to John Roche (white) of South Carolina. Further, five writers left Scott off their all-ACC ballots entirely. Smith went after them directly, saying the choice was borne of bigotry (or ignorance, but we know what was really the case.)

My dearest friends' daughter was one of the 26 murdered that day. I've spent many days in their home since Avielle was killed, and I've seen firsthand the crushing grief, the uncomprehending agony, and the incredible resilience her parents have displayed. To see her memory blasphemed, and her parents slandered as…

"Just copulated with the lightly hirsute Edelman. Earlier at the bacchanalia, he displayed his abdominal brawn to the hoi polloi. Quelle horreur! (of course I mean that ironically) "

The accusations of the GamerGate trolls, even if actually true, are almost laughably pedestrian "offenses" that do not even remotely warrant the amount of outrage that results. "Ooooh, nepotism and award-fixing at a small indie games festival! Some developer's game got a better score because she was fucking the guy…

WHAT IF... a few months from now... Bruce is called Diana and Royal Baby #2 is named Belinda? The tabloids are going to be SO embarrassed.

I keep watching it expecting the outcome to change.

Underrated: Malcolm Butler realizing he needed to tackle Kearse on that play.

I'd love to see a Deadspin article listing the one, true, non-homer, non-cheerleader beat writer in each NFL city, and why they are perceived as such.

/throws ball into elliptical machines

The one he never meant to create... When he killed Peyton in the 2003 playoffs, part of his curse rebounded and part of his soul latched on to Peyton's younger, less talented brother. With Belichick's supreme powers, mediocre Eli has been able to win 2 superbowls.

"need you home a sap"

Deflategate aside, I would not be upset if something catastrophic - and likely intentional - happened to Sepp Blatter.