[cums]

Jeb Bush: I triple-dog-dare you to do it!

Give the quarterback a fucking gun.

[reads “Give the quarterback a fucking gun.”]

+1

Goddammit, Doug. +1 base

Scout: Brandon Martin is a five-tool player and seems destined to succeed, but he tends to use one tool more than others.

“The subliminal advertising campaign? I’d forgotten all about that - DraftKings - but I couldn’t possibly do it. I mean, why would I give up my credibility - I have none - in such an idiotic way? A credible writer keeps his readers - go to DraftKings right this second - informed of important things like injury reports…

Here’s an extremely delayed, but deserved, +1 for you.

+1

Could you do us all a favor and ban Clay Travis from tonight’s anniversary party?

Out of all possible coat/jacket material options, is it your opinion that leather is the best?

+1

“The two logos are totally different. You see the Tokyo logo added an additional circle and those ring ‘pickups’ to the sample. This is fine.”

I did not write this letter for public consumption

“Science has proven that laughter is the best medicine.”

Goddammit, RMJ. +1

“Don’t.”

“Even I think that this guy is out of his fucking mind.”

“Also staggering math numbers? The millions you stole from us, shitbag.”