The University of Michigan has always considered itself to be a bastion of higher education.

Jeanie Buss blames this on Phil's insatiable appetite for eating out.

[sees Garret Anderson approaching the stands]

[phones are ringing off the hook]

+1

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Darren Rovell, Mike Florio and Gregg Easterbrook. Make your choices.

Usually when golfers are talking about someone shitting the bed on a golf course, it's about Jean van de Velde's shot selection on the final hole in the 1999 British Open.

Knoblauch: Just leave me alone, Chad.

Those numbers are accurate, but also failed to account for the additional cost of all stadium proposals. That is, of course, the loss of your dignity.

Who is the unseen spaghetti-wrangler presenting the gob of spaghetti that Tommy Lasorda is about to sex?

If the Power & Light district wanted someone to start fights with black patrons, they should've just hired Riley Cooper.

It's quite shocking that Randy's in such a huff over this. He's behaving as if the Mariners were trying to blow his house in.

"I am by no means an expert in swimming," said recording artist Jeff Buckley.

"I am by no means an expert in flying," said Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle.

+1

Pill Addict: Hey, man, you holding?

Detective Van Miller: Jesus, that was pretty ballsy of you to steal that watch! Captain's going to have your badge for that one if he finds out...

Judge: [notices Oscar Pistorius vomiting] Is your client okay?

+1

Boxers or briefs...or commando?