They haven't been hacked, they just let Elisha Cuthbert take over the feed.

Application for Employment - Rutgers University Athletic Department

What's the statute of limitations on knocking out a Barr...allegedly?

It's like Matthew Broderick said in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't slow down once in awhile, you might accidentally commit vehicular manslaughter."

+1!

Excellent.

He's definitely a shitty roommate, but he'd make a great Astros vendor.

That's great.

[vomits]

Three sources? Lynn Hoppes is confused why you're working so hard. He'd have been happy to tell you he was fired.

+1

+1!

Wendy's Shift Supervisor: I know the phrase is "the customer is always right," but that guy is seriously always a pain in the ass. I mean, who asks to "hold the bacon" on a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger?! Just order a cheeseburger! How do you think the new hire is doing?

+1

+1

Where do you want your reader to pause or stop?

Of course not, it'd cut into their profit margins.

I looked at my partner, I said, ‘he’s ripe for the taking today.'

+1

And it still won't be enough space for their massive egos.