“The only people that support her are people that she gives money or the people that work for her.”

I DIN think he was gonna make it

What it used to be before I sold my soul :(

Pictured: your average Trump voter after the ACA repeal

There must be something about being a fat bald white guy that leads to severe overestimation of one’s own fighting skills. More research is greatly needed in this field. 

That was my nickname in high school.

My first reaction was, mmmm-hmmmmm. But on the other hand, mmm-HMMMMM. Although perhaps one could also argue, MMMMMM-hmmmmm.

Our blessed granson did a google search on the bing, didn’t turn up nothing. Guess that’s what our tax dollers get wasted on thanks obummer

It makes perfect sense to have different building codes in different states. California has earthquakes, Nevada does not. Therefore buildings in California should be held to a different standard. See?

Supply and demand homie

Holy shit that sums up this national anthem controversy perfectly.

I once bagged Steve Young’s groceries. I’ll never forget it, I asked him how he was doing and he said (this is an honest to God direct quote), “Good, thanks.” It was magical.

“Well, officer, I was just on the way to pay my taxes and then out of nowhere...”

FUCK it LOL

That doesn’t really work with treadmills, you don’t push the belt you only keep pace with it. Stationary bikes definitely should generate electricity though.

“6 beers? You mean breakfast?”

A massive job training program for skilled trades coupled with infrastructure investment would be a great start.

Writing the business plan for my abortion-tourism startup.

He used to, too,