According to baseball’s unwritten rules, Bauer now has to throw at himself in his next appearance

Cool, now we’re in for 24 hours of tweets from Bauer that the ball was asking for it.

“What the fuck is wrong with you”

Incidentally, this is exactly what I devolve to within 15 minutes of teeing it up at a driving range. 

Remember, technically correct is the best kind of correct.

Severino: [puts down #1 sign]

Even if Deadspin finds a video of a Bear windsurfing, this is still going to be my sports highlight of the day. Sportsmen - they’re just like us!

It’s also neat that he’s the first player to start a game and earn the save.

“After the O’s used nine actual, professional pitchers”

“I was just hoping somehow they would hit three balls at somebody,”

They can find his dad?

A shady trucking company with an Italian name? Wow, surprising they'd be in the debt collection and loansharking business. Shocking.

Terrific economy of words in this one. 

Switches and other child beating tools are expensive in this day an age! 

But last year in Washington, he made just $1 million

“Adding to those judgements, the August 2018 lawsuit that The Athletic uncovered, filed in New York Supreme Court, is asking for $6.6 million, including interest and legal fees.”

Looks like someone definitely needs to tighten his belt.

Fitting that AP's fortunes would flip on him like a switch.

So he thought they had given him the starting job, only to have the team take it back? There should be a term for that kind of giving.

Rycroft’s opponent when he dropped his sword