I want to see him pronk.

The tone of this piece really bothers me. "OF COURSE you should be into lab meat, or else you don't have a HEART, you big meanie!" But if you think that it's cruel and mean and heartless to slaughter animals to eat, you don't need to wait 10-20 years to get rid of that feeling—you can just stop eating them now.

An atheist about it? Like, "I don't even believe in babies! You have no proof they exist!"? Heh.

But well-said. I agree that this shouldn't be as gendered a concept as it is.

You get to define what is meaningful to you, and obviously, there's more to you than being a mom. What I'm saying, is that (a) having children is universally recognized as a meaningful and important life choice, (b) that often it's portrayed as the only meaningful (or at least MUCH more) meaningful and important life…

As someone who is a fantastic consumer and is well aware how much she dicked over her own finances via spending, I get where you are coming from.

I didn't miss the point, I get it, I just disagree with your entire premise. Which is fine. People can have separate opinions! I'm not gonna get into an semantic internet argument on this article. Sorry I brought it up.

I prefer the following version:

I didn't use tampons until I was 17. These little fillies are brave.

I kind of want to make a joke about 10 years and Nelly's career/the last time he had a big hit. But (1) I'm not good enough at jokes to construct one, and (2) it just hit me all over again that she was held captive for TEN YEARS. Damn. Shake ya tailfeather, Ms. Berry, you deserve to have a hell of a good time.

"We've all been taught we were special snowflakes who could do anything we want thanks to our over-indulgent parents, we went to liberal arts colleges to pursue unrealistic dreams, now we're jobless and moving back home with our parents, et cetera."

When "straight" dudes advertise on Craigslist for oral sex with other "straight" dudes should we call them "Bro Jobs?"

I'm bromoting this bromment, brocause I abbrociate you brofessionalism. I am not some mindless brone that they can just brogram with some broneheadded brommercial pitch!

Does the CD include Kiss From A Rose?

Your logic is....absent.

She doesn't eat chickens, but she does torture plush lobsters.

At first that baby was all:

When someone says something super ugly, read their comment history before responding. Based on the last ten or fifteen, you've fed, and possibly un-greyed, someone who isn't interested in actual conversation.

When someone says something super ugly, read their comment history before responding. Based on the last ten or fifteen, you're wasting your energy trying to get a rational conversation out of this one.

Wow, you really hate vegans. Who hurt you?

Samirah already knows the difference between figuratively and literally, which makes her smarter than a lot of the internet.