When the box office clerk told him he’d have to get down, he should have played it like he was being told he was too tall, and said he hears that all the time and promised to sit in the back row so he wouldn’t block anyone’s view.

Did you have to pick the photo with the sign that says “stop chem trails”?

Or neo-libertarians.

Is this a sign of progress in her post-Fox deprogramming?

It’s so surprising that people arming themselves in self-defense in the midst of a long-term decline in violent crime would get so overdefensive about gun control as to take a self-endangering position on it.

I don’t think I’ve ever eaten day-old grocery store doughnuts that weren’t better than Krispy Kreme.

Boys being boys definitely needs to be replaced with men being men.

I think whoever wrote this headline has a poor understanding of the word “but”.

Oh, it’s perfectly fine if you don’t have to stop suddenly.

Only if you want the Toxic Avenger to come for you.

Well, it would test that aspect of the windscreen’s performance ahead of schedule, but I don’t think they’d be too put out by that.

Especially during rush hour.

Benches? I thought he was doing a one-armed curl.

There are other possible factors as well.

I want to read this article.

Well, you could spin it a true patriotism on the part of the media, when you look at it in the context that he reportedly gets most of his understanding of the world from the news, and then mostly Fox, along with his tendency to be spiteful towards those who are, in his words, “unfair” to him. If a newspaper or TV…

Pfft! It was on his chest, not his face. The most sexual thing he could have done from that position would be to tongue her navel.

Ugh. I’ve been waiting for my L.L. Bean jacket to fail somehow so I can get another, but it’s held up great for the past 12 years or so. Which is bad for me because I hate the design of the hood with its awkward-to-fasten flaps you have to tuck into velcroed pockets or else the hood will get blown off my head by a…

Screw Fallon. Never forget.

With the weird twist that they accidentally arrange a blind hook-up with each other, and it turns into a cute little “awww!” moment instead of a shouting match with possible escalation to the point of police involvement.