On one hand, Stevens is such a dipshit for this. On the other, I'm amazed he bypassed his standard move of asking to speak to the manager. 

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

To be fair, Yale university police did follow protocol and checked ID. Given our current environment with shootings, that is justified.

“Your honor, I ask that this case against my client be dismissed. Everyone knows relief pitchers in the AL don’t hit.”

Johnny Cash’s Hurt is outstanding.

Nirvana’s version of “Man Who Sold The World” from MTV Unplugged is fantastic.

I REALLY am loathe to defend Trump, but video CLEARLY shows Abe doing it first. This is why alt-right idiots bleat on about fake news.

While this is awesome, these kind of stories give me pause as to the state of my home and the impression it would give to FBI raiders. Like was I really too tired to throw my clothes in the hamper last night? Would the FBI guys sit around the office post pre-dawn raid and muse “hey did you see tornado’s underpanties…

The score was 34-31 and the 49ers had four plays inside the 10 to end the game. What in God’s name are you talking about?

Look, it doesn’t matter who I killed, just that you remember I killed them bestly.

Husky and Starch

American Kinja Warrior.

If the Earth were round, Giancarlo Stanton’s dingers would go straight into outer space. Think about it, you guys.

This is an important story to report, because Hardy’s brother was in the driver’s seat. Talking to the media is not important, especially when there are unsolved crimes for the Hardy boys to investigate.

“What do the 2-6 49ers have to lose?”

Idiots do.

Can’t the sentiments “It’s a bad idea to bring a baby to an intense playoff baseball game” and “It’s a bad idea to throw a beer can around a crowded stadium” coexist? What’s mutually exclusive about them? How is this a hot take?

I have a life, and I’ll take my baby where I please. Anyone that has a problem with that can fuck right off.

The important thing here, of course, is throwing beer cans at adults from a hundred feet up is also bad, don’t fucking do it.

Do not throw a beer can