"Hang on there,......"War Machine", was it? Yes, if you could just stop the beating for one minute, so I can call the police. Great, thanks!"

I went onto an MMA blog to read about this, and the comments were horrible. People were genuinely trying to decide which "team" they were on.

But then would people not wonder why this was getting coverage, and the thousands of other similar cases aren't? It would be like writing about Robin Williams's death, and not referring to his acting or comedy work.

I was sickened when I read about this earlier. I don't think "porn star" is a pejorative, but maybe some people might see it like that? Should she not be referred to as a porn star? That's the only reason this is getting coverage. There are, unfortunately, plenty of similar cases that don't get press attention. …

What? You must have missed the poor eyesight thing last season. But good for you for equating squinting with Asian, when no one else did.

I just saw the video. He went about 15-20 yards, which is about 50 feet. It was a long way, but not close to 50 yards.

That website says "In 1998, at the age of four", which would make him somewhere between 19 and 21. Maybe they haven't updated his bio in a while?

I don't know if I can believe that. 50 yards is an awful long way - half a football field. How can you get thrown that distance from under a car? I'm guessing this person isn't great with visualizing distance.

She is not a "human barbie". She is as much a human barbie as a guy who combs his hair and washes his face is a human Ken doll or someone who puts on cat ears is a human cat. She's just a blonde woman from the South.

I don't get it. What's the outrage about? That they are making fun of gangs? Of pregnant people in gangs?

It's 2014. I would say the majority (or at least, a lot) of restaurants have check splitting technology. If they don't have it, get it. They're serving food at an incredible mark-up, and relying on customers to pay their employees wages in tips that they should be getting anyway.

Also, cash only places in New York…

Which starter has had the most sex? Hmmm. This is a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend story, but my good buddy is a football coach. One of his friends, who coached with him, is a former NFL teammate of Peyton Manning. Word on the street is that Peyton Manning was AT LEAST as prolific as Tiger Woods when it came to…

I don't think a black guy who grew up in Texas and went to college in Oklahoma would be anti-gay. So you're probably ok on this one.

No one wants you to die in more quantities. We want you to kill innocent people in less quantities.

This is stupid. Why not let him finish the game?

Hamas are a recognized terrorist organization by the United States. So fucking what? Nelson Mandela and the African National Congress were recognized as terrorist entities by the United States until 2008. And I think anyone with half a brain can recognize that that's wrong, and that apartheid should not have been…

STRONG TAEK, JEZEBEL. Other ideas for articles:
Celebrities, Please STFU About Sexism
Celebrities, Please STFU About Racism

STRONG TAEK

Cowherd is an absolute tool, but I'm convinced a lot of it is just a shtick. On the Jason Collins, Michael Sam, the Boston Bombings, and now the Ray Rice thing - basically serious, human, non-sports issues, he actually comes across as a normal, common-sense type of guy.

That being said, I don't listen to ESPN Radio…

It's because the Hurricanes paid their players, you see. Google Nevin Shapiro. That's the joke.