I also love that they only help during the pregnancy. Like having a baby is a one time major expense and it’s fine once it’s born. Sorry Karen I’m pretty sure it only gets more expensive once the kid is actually out of the womb, but thanks for the $5k to guilt me into a life of poverty

Patricia Heaton comes to mind.

The complete lack... no, the willing abnegation... of agency in some of these is astounding. “God decides this stuff...” so you shouldn’t bother doing anything. The Bible says so, so everything will be fine. The man in charge says everything is ok, so why bother thinking otherwise?

I always pray there’s a norovirus outbreak at CPAC. Norovirus is one helluva fun, wild ride.

Is it wrong of me to think it would be highly ironic if there turns out to have been a massive outbreak of Coronavirus at CPAC, instead of just the usual outbreak of amorality, stupidity, and grifting?

All I did was make a list of the key points from the man’s plan. I think you’re angry at the wrong person. 

trump is no michael scott. he’s todd packer.

To steal a line from Jim Jeffries’ gun control bit: “Jeez, you think a lot of yourself if you think everyone’s coming to murder you.” 

He’s the president and arguably the most powerful person in the world. He doesn’t lose his power if you stop covering him.

Society lives in fear of what they don’t understand? We’re afraid of letting people roam around with loaded weapons because we don’t understand your “culture”? You’re the psychos who are so afraid of encountering a terrorist attack in the produce section you feel the need to carry a loaded gun to go to the eff’n…

Honestly, I think that the jury may have been horse-trading a bit where the majority will accept the not guilty on the predatory charges to get the holdouts to agree to guilty on these other charges.

If his family loves him, then why did they let a man who “makes mistake in his words just talking to him in a conversation” have a public position doing just that, knowing he could embarrass himself, them and anyone within earshot?

The fact is that the USWNT could not beat any of the teams the USMNT plays, 9 times out of 10, and everyone involved is aware of that fact.

I don’t see why she’s so worried about this case. If Weinstein gets indicted, he’s just going to get pardoned by Donny boy.

I mean, she’s practically begging for it.

She never should have put herself in the position to be criticized. 

Bloomberg looked like a kid who forgot to unthaw the chicken and heard his mom’s keys jingle in the door when Warren read him for filth 😂😂😂

I'll take anything that keeps that absolute nutter Lara off the airwaves. I mean, I'm proud that a mantis-american has risen to the highest rungs of political society, but she's useless until she beheads and eats Eric.

“There are legitimate reasons for abortion. There are no excuses for child molestation.”

There are legitimate reasons for abortion. There are no excuses for child molestation. I attended Catholic schools and I can assure you that there was all kinds of improper things going on that were swept under the rug. I don’t understand how a vow of celibacy has an asterisk when coming to children, but hey! I don’t…