The cops? [And here's a few more words, for flava]

Exactly right. Although apparently this dude wasn't rendered a steaming pile of viscera. As far as we know.

It's The Port Authority. The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey if you're nasty. It's not like "Sports Authority," and it's not in a mall. Pedantic? Sure. Sloppy "journalism" and "writing"? Yes. #corrections

VibrAcoustic, you say? As a dude, I am not really that interested in what a dude says about it. OK, I am interested, but I want to know what the wimmins feel about this. I mean, anything called "Vibr-"anything deserves the ladies' opinions. (I was sort of hoping this story was on Jezebel, but it's cool, and the…

Word. Or Mot, if you're into that whole Vive le Quebec libre thing.

Dude's from Kitchener? Shit, that sort of douchery used to be pretty much the sole province (heh heh) of Alberta, Texas's furthest north suburb.

So, just to be clear, this isn't made out A-Rod's nut sweat?

Someone needs a waaambulance.

Well, those in the know are quoted here:

Damn, I hate facts. The original story was much more fun.

Their "culture?" Those ungrateful bastards. They gave us Lorne Greene, William Shatner, Celine Dion, SCTV (Bob and Doug), and, if your cable gets it, Hockey Night in Canada. And DeGrassi WTF. And, in some benighted parts of our republic, you can get Poutine. There may in fact be a case to keep Canadian culture out of…

Yeah, too political, 'cause the big bad turtle, is, everyone knows, Steven Harper, and yertle is just an innocent greenie from Vancouver Island. Also, it's a problem quoting John Diefenbacker? WTF? I guess Harper's done better than Bush, who wanted to ban quoting FDR, Truman, LBJ, Carter, Clinton and Obama. Oh, Canada.

That's a good one. I've been in Prince Rupert. That's all.

If there was a second lesbian here, making lesbian eyes at lesbian 1, that would be soo hawt. #I'mapig

Yeah, but you know what a lesbian brings on the second date? A U-Haul! Get it? ROTFFLMAO

Uncle Milty's jokes weren't funny until he stole them from their originator. I heard he was well hung, though. It's nice to be good at one thing—having a big [whatever], and no comedy skills.

James Caan, also. But yeah, this is mostly the Cavalcade of D list All-"Stars", and, therefore is pretty lame. It's like panning for gold, with a lower payoff.

Beat me to it. But this dude's hella cool. I have all my extremities, and swimming the length of our neighborhood pool should get me on SportsCenter. Because I rarely make it. This dude rocks.

Notice how the douchey douchebag meanies are wearing shirts that say "Texas" on them? Figures.

"I need moar moneys to keep Calista in Tiffany and run with the big dawgs." Or something like that.