“You ain’t no real nigga. You a white boy, you preppy, you rich boy.”

It’s like Bosnia & Herzegovina.

“I’m not doing this to be interesting. I’m doing this to live.”

Under 18 people of color are charged as adults in many cases.

These stories run the gamut from hilarious to downright horrifying. Still, if I got the Ezekiel 25:13 speech from Sam Jackson it’d be like the sun on my heart for a thousand years.

So you’re saying that they need to merge them into one super-team called that Jolts in order to ultimately revive the dead soda brand and bring America into a hyper-caffeinated fever dream future?

I don’t know. Has Sam Hinkie tried to sign Heaps?

Ten bucks the Sixers draft an actual tank this year

When I had much longer commutes (~50 minutes door to door from far uptown to the city) I’d listen to podcasts on my way to and from work; same in college, when it was something like 80 minutes to get into Manhattan from Queens, and while I was doing braindead data entry jobs. Before things like Instapaper and Pocket…

I wasn’t afraid of spiders before, but now I have figured my SHC. Thanks Fahey for putting that in my head.

Jon Stewart: “Tommy...you cheating fucker.”

I find it hard to bludgeon people with their present actions because it just constantly keeps slipping into the past. It’s weird.

That’s not how any of that works, that’s not how any of that works at all!

You know necrophilia is still frowned upon, right?

Every time an ESPN personality throws shade at Colin Cowherd, an angel gets its wings.

Imagine how great Colin Cowherd would have been if his dad pulled out