The author of the Vice article just seems very immature: Numerous relationship partners did not meet your requirements, but you continued the relationship every time? She has vowed to never give another person oral forever. Forever is a long time, girl.

You don't have a right to be a bigot because your imaginary sky wizard says so. Sorry.

When the NCAA has moral problems with you, it is time to re-evaluate some of your life choices.

It's Indiana, not Insteve.

I think it is sad you are rooting for this kid to have a horrible injury and have to sit out his rookie year.

WHAT ARE PURPLE.

My mother was my father's third wife. Probably a mistress before being a girlfriend, although she didn't know it at the time. They dated for six months before getting married. A quick acceleration to be sure. But my mom decides to wait more than five years of marriage before getting pregnant. She wants to know he's…

My god, is he Hannah from Girls?

When she showed up at our apartment with a toddler. Cute little bugger- looked just like my at the time husband.

"Sorcia, I'm in love with your best friend [a dude with a hilariously ridiculous name that I cannot post here]. We're moving to Virginia and I hope you'll be happy for us."

I was seeing one of my longtime best guy friends (whom I'd kissed a couple times over the course of our friendship, but had just started, like, being with in any more significant capacity). He told me that he loved me quickly. The whole thing was very intense. I'd been hearing rumors from mutual friends that he was…

I mean, Blue? *shakes head* Red all the way.

Then it happened again, and I realized she was rubbing my leg with her bare foot. This went on for several minutes, during which time I got raging bonage that my Umbros could barely contain.

Winston's lawyer explains:

Don't you mean #FISTworldproblems? I'll see myself out (slams door).

...as if millions of performance-based bonus dollars suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

An alien who would blow up an entire planet full of sentient life to improve his view seems an apt metaphor for many politicians.

As a Texan I would prefer Yosemite Sam to just about every politician making headlines. Ted Cruz, Dan Patrick, and Greg Abbott are all douche canoes.

No. FIFA awards the media rights to different countries at different times on a schedule that only FIFA knows and understands.

I think the prefect person to report on FIFA would be Glenn Beck