Hitner has already convinced some of his teammates to follow his lead, like wide receiver and punt returner Fumblingpieceofshit Williams.

CAN'T UNSEE

Quit dissin on rhinos.

"The Denver year happened, Pete, it happened."

It's a great name.

Could you repeat that, sir?

What about rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and…

We're all missing the big story, which is that who knew Rudy Giuliani ran a golf course in Wisconsin now?

I, too, attended UNM, and I drank on the weekends to avoid the real problems in my life, like homework. I also smoked weed a few times, and I inhaled.

I also attended the University of Not-Michigan. Our motto was "We take things lying down."

In closing, what is this infernal, glowing machine? How did I get on this electric typewriter? Please send help.

Judging by the solicitation charge, it looks like she was trying to act out the book title.

Garza then added "Kaycee probably sucks dick so she's a whore! So there!"

Gawker readers will tell you that a bunt can be very provoking.

I Cannot Stop Looking At This Turtle Getting Thrown Off A Boat

So they use Jaeger to fight their demons, eh? Me too!

How can mac and cheese NOT make one feel better?

All the bigots are gonna lose their shit when they find out Aboushi is planning to spend the rest of the summer at some kind of "training camp."

Maybe I shouldn't engage you, but I think it might be useful to read for similarly misguided people.